Saturday, 4 April 2015

I'm so dumb!, Low Self-Esteem and Tomorrow

                            Good morning !

              I admit it, yesterday I forgot to complete the post. I was so tired that I just forgot.
              But today is a new day !

              I won't believe what happened. I bought Convergent when I should have bought Insurgent and now I'll have to wait until Monday to go get it. I'm so mad at myself. I know I've seen the movie already but I want to read it so bad ! Well, thanks to myself, I'll have to wait and then classes stars Tuesday and bye-bye time to read.

              I've already read my e-mails, saw the news and now I'll see the available movies for today, see some videos on Youtube. Maybe then I'm going to have lunch , go for my walk and etc.

              Yesterday only 1 242 cal stayed on my body, I'm proud of myself ! I wanna keep doing a good work. I know that weight loss takes time , but I'll do it.

I weighed myself today and it's 52.2kg. I think I'm going in a good way because I lost 400 gr.

                                          2 toasts of rye bread and wheat = 144 cal + 45 cal
                                          Cup of milk with barley = 147 cal

                                                                                                  Total = 336 cal


              I'm so tired and not only physically. I've gone for a walk and did almost the same as yesterday. And then saw 2 film: one called Ring of Deceit and the other Second Chances.

              My sister's godmother came here because tomorrow's Easter and she doesn't live here anymore.
              Talking about her reminds me of tomorrow. Tomorrow I'll spent the day with my father and his family. I don't like it even though I like my uncles and aunts. And I love my cousins especially Sarah (20 years old) and Margaret (5).
              I bet he will try to take us to my mom's brother house and I don't wanna go. I'm starting to get really anxious because I really don't want to. I hater my mother's family. They are so bad and rude with her. I won't believe if I told u what happened.
              My dad will try to convince us to go there and see my uncle and my grandfather and I swear that I'll not leave the car. I won't. He does it just to show them that he's the good guy that he's not and probably to make them even more angry and rude with my mom. Now you know one of the reasons why I hate my dad. I'll keep telling you one by one.

              Mom just came in and almost saw what I was writing. I've already asked her to knock the door before but she just won't listen.

              I'm feeling so bad right now. I feel shit. Not only because all of the drama in my life but because I feel very bad about my appearance. Gabs and Bea sent me some pictures of me off guard. They don't know how that makes me feel bad because they are beautiful and perfect and I am just the ugly friend and they don't do it maliciously, I belive. I've always been and I'll always be, forever

                                          Meat = 52 cal
                                          Rice ( 2 spoons) = 72 cal
                                         1 and half slices of rye and wheat bread = 96 cal
                                         2 leaves of lettuce = 2 cal
                                         1/6 tomato = 4 cal
                                         Pear = 29 cal

                                         Milk with coffee and chocolate = 85 + 8 + 35 cal
                                         Rolling croissant with half a slice of cheese = 231 cal + 34 cal

                                          Walk = - 125 cal

                                          Soup = 100 cal
                                          Scrambled eggs with baked potato = 120 cal + 50 cal
                                          Banana = 89 cal

                                                                                    Total = 1 218 cal

Well it seems like when everything is going wrong my diet it's better. Anyway I'm too tired for workout. Not today. I'm just going to put my pajamas on and go to bed. I don't want to join my family at the living room, not today. I know they'll ask why but I just don't want, I'm tired. I guess I'll watch some youtube videos.

I don't know if I'll come back here today , but good night.